If you asked me why I stopped playing fantasy football, I’d say it’s not something you can just sit down and be done with. It’s something that needs to be flushed out.
Thousands of podcasts and articles are created every day dedicated to it. Friends and family spend countless hours sifting through articles, podcasts, videos, and even T.V. shows, trying to find that competitive edge that will secure their make-believe squad a win.
Some leagues are made for fun, so there’s no real penalty if a team wins or loses (besides the heckling from their league-mates). Others set it up that the team with the worst record at the end of the season has to get an embarrassing tattoo or dress in a tutu in public. And that’s great!
It’s just not for me anymore… but it certainly was.
When I used to play fantasy football, I’d probably buy a minimum of three to four magazines devoted to it prior to the season’s start and read them front to back at least ten times. After I’d done that, I’d spend a few weeks creating my own personal draft board and rankings by position.
(Luckily I only played in an IDP, or individual defensive player, league once, and I fared as well as the Cavaliers did against the Warriors in this year’s finals.)
In the middle of all of that, I’d be reading 10-15 articles daily, searching for that one player to target that could possibly take me over the top and make my friends look like idiots for not selecting him. For a while, it was fun… until it wasn’t.
During my stint in the fantasy football world, I mainly played with buddies that I grew up with, so competitive isn’t even the right word to describe how seriously the league was taken. Eventually money was an added incentive, but each of us was really playing for pride. Until I wasn’t.
I have a passion for sports. Along with PerSources, I also work at one of the largest newspapers in Las Vegas covering high school sports. I’ve started to follow the NHL very closely because of a hockey team that plays in the desert.
In college, I worked for my college’s athletic department. I’ve purchased NBA League Pass for the past four seasons or so and live in NBA Twitter 24/7, 365 days a year. When it’s the NBA “offseason,” I’m watching the WNBA.
I grew up going to Camden Yards and Nationals Park.
Growing up, Sunday was spent watching football from 1 to 11:30 PM, only getting up to go to the bathroom or get food and water. I believe I truly live and breathe sports. It just got to a point where I wasn’t filtering the air I was breathing, and it became toxic.
When I was younger, watching football was exciting. Well – kind of. I grew up in a Redskins household, and their ability to hold a fourth-quarter lead was about as strong as Greg Heffley. Besides that, watching football was fun! I got to hang out with my friends and family while eating junk food all day. It was the time of the week that I looked forward to, and now it’s one that I look back on fondly. It took me letting go of fantasy football to get back to that state of mind.
When I was playing fantasy football, I spent more time reading the bottom ticker to see how my players (and my opponents’) were doing and less time actually watching whatever game was on. It got to the point where I was rooting against teams I wanted to win (example: whatever team that was playing the Patriots or Cowboys that week) so that my player could do well. Get one more reception. Get 10 more yards. Just one touchdown.
What I really needed to do was focus on what was important – my wellbeing.
Before I go any further, let me be perfectly clear: if you’re reading this and you play fantasy football and enjoy it, I have no qualm with you. Play for as long as you like! That’s not the intent of this piece. It’s merely to give you something to ponder. It just isn’t for me.
Around the time I began to notice I was focusing more on how my team was doing, was the same time I noticed my motivation to do other things waned.
I still hung out with friends, played video games until 3 in the morning on weekends, and went to church on Sundays, but I didn’t want to do my schoolwork. I was still getting good grades, but I wasn’t putting forth my best effort. At one point, I probably was spending a good three week period on my fantasy lineup when I should’ve been writing papers in college. (Sorry Mom and Dad!)
Also, at this same time is when my depression and anxiety reared their ugly heads.
Again, let me be clear – I’m not saying fantasy football caused my depression and/or anxiety – but it certainly didn’t help. It’s about to get personal, so if you’ve read this far but don’t like what you’ve read, carry on.
When I lost in fantasy football, I was down in the dumps – like this down in the dumps:
I would beat myself up. My thoughts would go something like this:
What did I do wrong?
Would the guys in my league want to play with the kid who couldn’t even crack 100 points with a top-5 running back AND top-10 receiver?
My friends probably won’t want to hang with a loser.
If I can’t even win a fantasy football game, how am I supposed to talk to a girl? How am I supposed to complete these homework assignments?
Oh, Mom and Dad are calling to hear about my week. Not great guys!
It was Sunday.
I’ll spare you the depths of some of those dark thoughts, but I was getting that affected by a GAME. A game thats entire premise is that men and women “play” general manager, create a fictional team that has no chance of ever happening while Goodell is commissioner in today’s NFL. These teams depend on players that have no interest in helping out their fantasy squads. That wasn’t healthy.
All of these things may seem very trivial to you, or just plain silly. You may dismiss it and carry about your day, or even go back to setting your lineup. I’m fine with that. Play to your heart’s content.
Fantasy football was distorting my reality, and I had to put an end to it.
@_Mason_Jar