What If I told you that there would come a time when you will thank God, (or the Universe), for that time in your past which you experienced some of the worst emotional and mental pain of your life?
Looking back at those times, I now realize that they taught me a lot of lessons. Pain can help accelerate your growth process. I also believe that without understanding someone’s pain, you cannot truly understand them. Wisdom comes with experience. I hope that at least one of you can relate with the lessons I’ve decided to share.
A couple of years ago, I made some extreme work, social, dating, and life changes in general. I stepped completely out of my comfort zone and experienced some negative emotions, at times, that I didn’t even know existed in the process. However, I’ve also experienced some triumphs that were not capable without having gone through these life altering experiences.
My eyes are open again; now more than ever.
The following, are some of the life lessons that I’ve learned through experience, observing others, conversations, and many other means: Note: I wrote these from a man’s point of view, but most times the perspectives can be swapped.
I know this is a long list and most of you won’t even get through it. I just hope that these lessons can help, even if they just prompt you to think or self reflect.
1. Closure usually (almost always) comes from within.
2. Girls who are constantly talking about “the one”, complaining about not being able to find “the one”, or relationship goals, are in fact not actually seeking “the one”. Stay away from those.
3. That time you didn’t trust your gut, you should have.
4. That “one time” you didn’t trust your gut, you should have.
5. When helping a friend of yours get through a break up, you will hear the same dumb shit you once said after your break up.
6. Helping your friends deal with heart breaks, annoying girls & their time wasting flings, and years of unsatisfactory dating will be worth it in the end when you see them with people who appreciate them and truly make them happy.
7. Your friends were right about your ex.
8. You can learn from other people’s mistakes.
9. Some mistakes, you need to make for yourself.
10. It doesn’t matter if you think that she’s “the one” or not. If you have to chase or wait for her, you’ll always be an option until she’s ran out of options. Move on.
11. You’ll always feel better after moving on from something that weighed you down.
12. Being single is very, very hard.
13. Being single is the best thing ever.
14. You aren’t really single until you’ve been single for a long time. It takes a while before you can really enjoy being single & free.
15. Single people and people in relationships have different kinds of confidence.
16. Avoid dating people who have never taken significant time off between a relationship before.
17. True self development occurs outside of your comfort zone.
18. People don’t like admitting that you were right.
19. Bad people do exist.
20. Hard times do pass. You will always be “okay”, even when you’re not.
21. Networking in college can be more valuable than you degree.
22. Years of failure in the past does not mean you cannot become successful.
23. Years of laziness does not mean you cannot learn how to be the hardest worker in the room.
24. Incremental success is one of the most concepts you need to understand.
25. Incremental success can help you out of poverty and, at times, depression.
26. Depression is real.
27. Suicidal thoughts and depression are not mutually exclusive.
28. Put your ego aside and seek professional help when needed.
29. “Fighting” and making the “conscious decision to start fighting” are two different things. Sometimes, in order to begin fighting, you need to make a conscious decision to start fighting.
30. Wisdom is fastest obtained through pain & hardships.
31. You cannot truly understand someone until you understand their pain.
32. Losing your anger entirely is unhealthy.
33. Not dealing with your anger is dangerous.
34. Channeling your anger towards something productive can be very productive.
35. Don’t put your pride aside just because they tell you to.
36. You should always check your ego.
37. Be mature enough to be able to look yourself in the mirror and hold yourself accountable for your mistakes.
38. Understand your own strengths and weaknesses.
39. Sometimes you will want to help people, but you can’t and that’s okay.
40. Some people need to learn how to be a little selfish.
41. Being selfish, at times, is okay.
42. Often, strangers will support you more than the people you know because the people you know refuse to believe that you both came from the same place when you make it and they don’t.
43. How you carry yourself can be just as important as who you really are. Perception is everything.
44. Look the part.
45. Take care of your health.
46. Never regret working hard.
47. Don’t talk shit.
48. Stay in your lane.
49. Don’t let people fuck with your lane.
50. Your childhood goals can fade, or change, and that’s okay.
51. Even in 2018, girls still appreciate a gentleman.
52. Don’t lose the power to believe.
53. Believe in yourself, seriously.
54. You’re greater than you realize.
55. Surround yourself with people who let you be great.
56. Winners attract winners.
57. Misery loves company.
58. Be optimistic, even when it’s the hardest thing to do.
59. Never backwards, always forward.
60. No girl is out of your league.
61. The thing people hate most in life is the truth.
62. Always be genuine.
63. Stay true to yourself.
64. There will be times when you don’t recognize yourself in the mirror.
65. You will recognize yourself in the mirror again someday, it’ll take some work though.
66. You can and do inspire people with everything you do.
67. Be conscious of the fact that you never know who you’re inspiring.
68. Words hurt, choose them wisely.
69. Overrated.
70. Cool girls can become wack with time.
71. Wack girls can become cool with time.
72. People can become who they surround themselves with.
73. Surround yourself with people you want be more like.
74. There’s nothing better than a friend calling just to say “hi”.
75. The pursuit of success is lonely.
76. Some people can bring the worst out of you.
77. Some people can bring the best out of you.
78. What’s done in the dark will find its way to shine.
79. The moment people know love, they run the risk of carrying hate.
80. Sacrifice is important.
81. Don’t sacrifice long term happiness for short term band-aids.
82. If you break up with someone, let them be. Don’t contact them.
83. Have standards.
84. Have walls
85. Open up from time to time, it feels good.
86. Some risks are worth taking.
87. Be humble enough to seek advice when needed.
88. Some things are worth fighting for.
89. Bitter people stay bitter, avoid them.
90. Don’t live life bitter.
91. God is real
92. The quote, “When one door opens, ten will open” is bull shit. But if 9 doors close, that 10th door could make up for all of them.
93. Don’t work too much, enjoy your friends as often as you can.
94. Friends can be more important to you than your extended family. You chose them.
95. No matter what hardship, country I moved to, or anything: Ball is life.
96. You will look back one day and thank God, or the universe, for the exact hardships which you begged him to take you out of a few years back. They shaped you.
97. People will tell you to lower your standards, don’t.
98. Take time to reflect on yourself and your life outside without your phone in your hand.
99. Give back & always remember who you are and where you came from.
100. Give up, on me giving up.
Several of these lessons were learned through my experiences, my friends’ experiences, or through the tales of Naruto. I don’t know if you read all of these or if this list even helped. But if this article helps even just one person, then it was worth writing it.
Have any thoughts? DM or Tweet me @TPRx11